Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Karma & Rebirth

"As long as we live in a sensual realm, the Buddha said, there are going to be fights between parents and children, brothers and sisters, brothers and brothers, sisters and sisters, and between the parents themselves. This is something you’ve got to accept. There are two ways you can try to get past those quarrels. One is through reconciliation; the other’s through forgiveness. Now, reconciliation requires that everybody involved wants to patch up the relationship. Whoever’s acted harmfully has to admit that he or she has acted harmfully and to promise never to do it again — and has to make the promise in such a way that the other side believes it, or at least is determined to continue with the relationship. In other words, you share common values about what’s right and wrong, what’s proper and improper. As for the person wronged, he or she has to behave in a way that shows respect for the other side. Reconciliation is a lot of work, and it requires that both sides want it. This i...

"If Buddhist groups are to bring reconciliation to modern society, they have to master the hard work of reconciliation among themselves. Only then will their example be an inspiration to others. And even if their impact is not enough to prevent a general descent into the madness of fascism, terror, and war, they will be planting seeds of civilization that can sprout when the madness — like a fire across a prairie — has passed." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Reconciliation, Right & Wrong"

"Modern sociologists have identified five basic strategies that people use to avoid accepting blame when they’ve caused harm, and it’s noteworthy that the early Buddhist teaching on moral responsibility serves to undercut all five. The strategies are: to deny responsibility, to deny that harm was actually done, to deny the worth of the victim, to attack the accuser, and to claim that they were acting in the service of a higher cause. The Pali responses to these strategies are: (1) We are always responsible for our conscious choices. (2) We should always put ourselves in the other person’s place. (3) All beings are worthy of respect. (4) We should regard those who point out our faults as if they were pointing out treasure. (Monks, in fact, are required not to show disrespect to people who criticize them, even if they don’t plan to abide by the criticism.) (5) There are no — repeat, no — higher purposes that excuse breaking the basic precepts of ethical behavior." ~ Thanissaro ...

"When the Buddha discusses how people arrive at reconciliation, it’s when someone in the relationship has done something wrong, admits  that they did something wrong, and they’re willing to try not to repeat that mistake: That’s how you can have a reconciliation. And in this way, we’re reconciling ourselves — with our own behavior — all the time, if we have that attitude. It’s one of the reasons why the Buddha said it wasn’t that he was arguing with the world, it was the world that argued with him. He was constantly reconciling himself to what he’d done wrong so that he’d be in a position to learn. So if you can reconcile yourself with your mistakes, it shows that you’re open to reconciliation with the rest of the world. Now, whether they want reconciliation or not is their issue. But you can do your part all the time." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Admit Your Stupidity"

"What kind of kamma do you want to create? If the answer is “skillful kamma,” then one of the things you’ve got to learn how to do is not to get focused on how you’ve been wronged by other people. You don’t want to go around getting revenge because that just keeps the bad kammic cycle going on and on and on. This is what forgiveness means in the context of mundane right view: You decide that you’re not going to hold any danger to that person. You’re not going to try to get back at the other person. You’ll let the issue go. Whatever unskillfulness has been going on between the two of you, you want it to stop — and it has to stop with you. And that’s it. It doesn’t mean you have to love the person or go and kiss and make up or anything, because there are some cases where the way you’ve been wronged is so heavy that it’s really hard even to be around the other person, much less to interact. You’re not called on to love the person and there’s no forcing of the issue that...