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Showing posts with the label Emotions

Some causes of suffering go away when you just look at them; others require that you engage in what the Buddha calls, “exerting a fabrication.” There are three kinds of fabrication: bodily, verbal and mental.

"We talked about different ways you deal with the causes of suffering. Some causes of suffering go away when you just look at them; others require that you engage in what the Buddha calls, “exerting a fabrication” [MN 101]. And when the Buddha’s talking about fabrication in this context, he’s talking about these three kinds of fabrication. For example, suppose that you’re feeling a strong sense of anger and you want to get over it. The first thing you do is to look at your breath. Usually when you’re angry, your breath is disturbed, which aggravates the anger. So, remember what you’ve learned to do with the breath in meditation: calm the breath down, breathe through any tightness you may feel in your chest or your abdomen, and in this way you begin to reclaim your body from the anger, which has hijacked it. You make the breath your own again. That’s bodily fabrication. When the body feels calmer, it’s easier to think clearly about the situation. This is where you apply directed th...

The Buddha's teachings all start with the power of intention. Your mind is what shapes your experience. You’re not just passive recipients.

"I was giving a Dhamma talk on kamma up in the Bay Area. After the talk, a woman came up and said, “You know, this made me think, ‘Maybe my life isn’t determined by my DNA after all.’” I was surprised. She’d been going to Dhamma talks for a fair while and yet was still able to maintain the idea that somehow DNA determined everything that was going to happen in her life, everything she was going to do. But then, it is easy to have that view in conjunction with a lot of stuff that’s taught as Dhamma these days: the idea that there’s really no self there, that things are just happening on their own, and the only way to find happiness is to get out of the way. Don’t have any desires for anything to happen differently from the way it is. Just accept things as they are and be done with it. That’s what they say, but that’s not what the Buddha taught. His teachings all start with the power of intention. Your mind is what shapes your experience. You’re not just passive recipients. If we a...

The times that are needed to say things displeasing are very rare. It’s a sign of a lot more skill, when you have difficulty with someone, that you can get your emotions under control and you can express your thoughts in ways that they will be happy to hear.

"The times that are needed to say things displeasing are very rare. It’s a sign of a lot more skill, when you have difficulty with someone, that you can get your emotions under control and you can express your thoughts in ways that they will be happy to hear. Even when you’re saying things that are unpleasant, you have to show respect for the other person. Don’t show disdain; don’t show contempt. Choose the right time, the right place, the right situation to say those things." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "True Freedom of Speech"

The whole process of constructing an emotion is just a habit. If you see that it’s harmful to you, harmful to the people around you, you want to learn how to undo it; replace it with other habits.

"These are important skills: learning how to recognize how you fabricate an emotion and how you do it unskillfully; and how you can deconstruct it and construct something more skillful in its place. It may sound artificial, but the whole process of constructing an emotion is artificial in the first place. It’s something fabricated. There’s an element of intention and, in many cases, the intentions have become so habitual that they seem automatic, because of the strength of the perceptions and the strength of the breath or that particular way of breathing around greed or aversion or delusion. You tend to think, “Well, this is what I really feel.” But it’s just a habit, and as with any habit, if you see that it’s harmful to you, harmful to the people around you, you want to learn how to undo it; replace it with other habits." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Deconstruct Your Emotions"

The times that are needed to say things displeasing are very rare. It’s a sign of a lot more skill, when you have difficulty with someone, that you can get your emotions under control and you can express your thoughts in ways that they will be happy to hear.

"The times that are needed to say things displeasing are very rare. It’s a sign of a lot more skill, when you have difficulty with someone, that you can get your emotions under control and you can express your thoughts in ways that they will be happy to hear. Even when you’re saying things that are unpleasant, you have to show respect for the other person. Don’t show disdain; don’t show contempt. Choose the right time, the right place, the right situation to say those things." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "True Freedom of Speech"

Faith in the principle of karma means you have faith in the people who are teaching it, and you have so much faith that you actually try to act in line with it.

"So when we talk about having faith in the principle of karma, it’s not just saying, “Oh, yes, I think that’s a good idea.” It means that you have faith in the people who are teaching it. And you have so much faith that you actually try to act in line with it. The Buddha makes this point over and over again — your actions show what you really believe in. So when you believe in something, make sure that your actions are good. That provides you not only with the theory but also with the appropriate emotions — a sense of saṃvega, a sense of pasada, heedfulness, equanimity — as these things are needed. This way, the teaching on karma is not just something that you give your intellectual assent to. It’s something you assent to with your whole heart and you carry it out into your actions. Because this is how you benefit the most from it — as you bring your actions into line with the theory." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Faith in Karma"

Your daily habits, your meditative skills — these are the things that will determine whether you suffer or not when you die.

"Mindfulness of death prepares you to find the deathless. It depends on remembering that we’re not simply aware of the fact that death is going to happen, but we also have a particular take on how it’s going to happen: the Buddha’s instructions on how to anticipate what’s going to happen. The mind will be swept along by its cravings depending on its kamma, the kamma you do as you go through the day and the kamma you’re doing as you approach the moment of death. Your daily habits, your meditative skills — these are the things that will determine whether you suffer or not. This way, you’re prepared emotionally, but you’re also prepared in terms of the skills you’ll have to bring to bear. When you approach mindfulness of death from this perspective, then you’re going to get the most out of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Mindfulness of Death" (Meditations11)

The whole process of constructing an emotion is just a habit. If you see that it’s harmful to you, harmful to the people around you, you want to learn how to undo it; replace it with other habits.

"These are important skills: learning how to recognize how you fabricate an emotion and how you do it unskillfully; and how you can deconstruct it and construct something more skillful in its place. It may sound artificial, but the whole process of constructing an emotion is artificial in the first place. It’s something fabricated. There’s an element of intention and, in many cases, the intentions have become so habitual that they seem automatic, because of the strength of the perceptions and the strength of the breath or that particular way of breathing around greed or aversion or delusion. You tend to think, “Well, this is what I really feel.” But it’s just a habit, and as with any habit, if you see that it’s harmful to you, harmful to the people around you, you want to learn how to undo it; replace it with other habits." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Deconstruct Your Emotions"

Our ability to share makes sense and is valuable because of the teaching on kamma: the part that says we have free will, that our intentions matter, that actions bear results, and that it’s important to think about the results.

"Kamma is one of those teaching that’s sometimes hard to relate to, both intellectually and emotionally: intellectually because it’s related to the issue of conviction, or saddhā . We hear the word conviction — or even worse, saddhā is often translated as faith — and we think that we’re being asked to commit to something that we’re not really sure about, that we don’t have any means of knowing. But that’s not what conviction means in the Buddha’s teachings. It means you’re going to take something on as a working hypothesis. You’re committed to the sense that you’re really going to really try to test it, but no, you’re not being forced to give your emotional assent to say, “Yes, despite my lack of evidence I’m being forced to say this must be true.” Instead, you’re advised to say, “I’m going to try it out. It makes sense. It’s asking me to believe that my actions matter and that I have a choice in my actions that’ll give results. But I’m free enough to learn from past mistakes so...

The mind doesn’t operate totally on its understanding of things. Feelings of pleasure and pain do play a role in the way we act, the way we think. We try to give rise to feelings of well-being within ourselves through the meditation.

"The ability to talk to yourself skillfully can be strengthened by a different kind of feeling: not emotions, but feelings of pleasure. The mind doesn’t operate totally on its understanding of things. Feelings of pleasure and pain do play a role in the way we act, the way we think. This is one of the reasons why we try to give rise to feelings of well-being within ourselves, through the breath, through the meditation." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Feeling & Intention"

Develop the equanimity of a good doctor who realizes he can't solve all the cases in the world

"When, while you’re trying to develop compassion and empathetic joy, you run across cases where you can’t help the other person, either to become happy or to maintain happiness, that’s when you have to develop equanimity. This is the equanimity of a good doctor who realizes that he can’t solve all the cases in the world. But if he lets his heart get broken over all the cases he can’t solve, he won’t have the energy to help the cases he might have been able to solve. So for the people who come to him and have the karma that allows him to help — and he himself has the karma that allows him to help them — he should think of that as a precious opportunity. It’s not always there. Make the most of it and don’t let yourself get distracted by things you can’t control or where you can’t be of help. Because, as I said, karma is complex. The combination of the patient’s karma to be in a position where he or she can be cured, and the doctor’s karmic connection with that patient: ...

If all you’ve got is memories of sensual pleasures, it’s a pretty shifty treasure. But if you know that you’ve done good in this lifetime, the sense of self-worth that comes with that keeps the mind from falling down.

"We know that people who simply follow their whims are psychologically not very happy. The people who can channel their desires in a direction that they find worthwhile: those are the ones who are really happy. And the teaching on kamma encourages that. You focus on the practice. You may not be able to get all the way to nibbana in this lifetime, but your efforts are not wasted. You can pick up in the practice again; you can create the conditions for being able to pick it up again after you die. So there are lots of ways you can learn how to get a better emotional relationship to the teaching on kamma, a relationship that will really sustain you. Ajaan Suwat would comment on how people who follow a life of sensual pleasures, when the time comes when they’re about to leave this life of sensual pleasures, look back and all they can have is regret and fear and grasping, because there’s nothing of any substance there in the memories of past pleasures. And of course, you know what happ...

The Buddha said the end of suffering is possible, doesn't change and is very much worth willing.

"What’s really worth doing? On the one hand there’s a lot of change: We’re subject to aging, illness, death, and separation from all that we love. The question is — what are you going to do about change? Some people will tell you that the Buddha teaches you, “You simply have to accept it because that’s all there is: things that keep on changing, changing, and changing. If you resist change, or if you try to find something that doesn’t change, you’re going against the nature of reality.” But the Buddha did teach that there is something that doesn’t change, and it can be attained through our efforts. So, what’s worth willing then? Simple acceptance? Well, no. What’s worthwhile willing is to act in ways that will lead to that changeless dimension. That’s why the contemplation ends with, “I am the owner of my actions.... whatever I do, for good or for evil, to that will I fall heir.” Your actions will make a difference, so you want to make sure that you’re well motivated to act skil...

Develop the equanimity of a good doctor who realizes he can't solve all the cases in the world

"When, while you’re trying to develop compassion and empathetic joy, you run across cases where you can’t help the other person, either to become happy or to maintain happiness, that’s when you have to develop equanimity. This is the equanimity of a good doctor who realizes that he can’t solve all the cases in the world. But if he lets his heart get broken over all the cases he can’t solve, he won’t have the energy to help the cases he might have been able to solve. So for the people who come to him and have the karma that allows him to help — and he himself has the karma that allows him to help them — he should think of that as a precious opportunity. It’s not always there. Make the most of it and don’t let yourself get distracted by things you can’t control or where you can’t be of help. Because, as I said, karma is complex. The combination of the patient’s karma to be in a position where he or she can be cured, and the doctor’s karmic connection with that patient: It doesn’t al...