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Showing posts with the label Other People

You don’t draw out inferences, like inferring from the fact that all feelings are fabricated that all feelings have to be regarded as stressful, painful. You’re talking about karma to get people to know what kind of actions they should and shouldn’t be doing.

"Like the teaching on not-self, or the teaching on all three of the three perceptions [inconstant, stressful, not-self]: There are certain cases where, he says, you don’t apply them. You don’t draw out inferences, like inferring from the fact that all feelings are fabricated that all feelings have to be regarded as stressful, painful. He says that when you’re talking about karma, that’s not the inference you should draw. You should talk about the three types of feelings that result from karma: pleasant, painful, neither pleasant nor painful, because they’re related to skillful, unskillful, and neutral actions. You’re talking about karma to get people to know what kind of actions they should and shouldn’t be doing. If you say that all feelings resulting from action are painful, who’s going to bother trying to be skillful? That’s a case where there’s a wrong inference." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Give of Yourself"

You have fierce love for yourself. Everyone else has the same fierce love for themselves. So if your happiness gets in the way of their fierce love of themselves, they’re not going to stand for it.

"You realize that if your peace is going to last, if your happiness is going to last, it has to depend on not causing any harm to anybody else. Otherwise they’ll try to destroy it. So you have to take their desire for peace, their desire for happiness into consideration. There’s a passage where the Buddha tells King Pasenadi that you can search the whole world over, and you’ll find no one who doesn’t have fierce love for themselves. You have fierce love for yourself. Everyone else has the same fierce love for themselves. So if your happiness gets in the way of their fierce love of themselves, they’re not going to stand for it. There’d be no peace." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "No Happiness Other than Peace"

It’s easy not to believe that the quality of your intention is going to determine the results of your actions, because you see a lot of people acting out of greed, hatred, and delusion, and yet they seem to be pretty happy, in the short term at least.

"It’s easy not to believe that the quality of your intention is going to determine the results of your actions, because you see a lot of people acting out of greed, hatred, and delusion, and yet they seem to be pretty happy, in the short term at least. So it is a matter of belief. And the Buddha’s proof simply is a pragmatic one: If you believe in your actions, you’ll act more skillfully. He adds that if you really want to put an end to suffering through your own efforts, this is what you have to believe. You have to take this as your working hypothesis." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Believe in Your Actions"

You look in the newspapers and it seems like everything in the world is falling apart. And it is. So, what is there to accomplish? We train our minds. We’re good to one another, because that kind of goodness isn’t erased by death.

"You look in the newspapers and it seems like everything in the world is falling apart. And it is. So, what is there to accomplish? We train our minds. We’re good to one another, because that kind of goodness isn’t erased by death." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Living Honorably (2015)" (Meditations8)

If your compassion is so picky that it can go only to innocent people, you won’t find anyone to give it to. Accept the fact that the human realm is one where we all have a mixture of past bad kamma and past good kamma.

"When we say that people suffer because of their actions, past and present, it means that there’s no one in the human world who’s really innocent. Even if someone has behaved perfectly in this lifetime, there may be some bad seeds in his or her kamma field from past lifetimes that are now sprouting. Now, this doesn’t mean that that person deserves to suffer. And it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel compassion for that person. If your compassion is so picky that it can go only to innocent people, you won’t find anyone to give it to. Accept the fact that the human realm is one where we all have a mixture of past bad kamma and past good kamma. We’re all in this together, so we should all have compassion for one another. And remember that the Buddha never talked about people deserving to suffer. He offered his teachings on how to stop suffering to all beings, no matter what their past kamma was." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Sublime Determinations: a Retreat on the Brahmavihāras...

But at least have sympathy: To whatever extent other people are doing unskillful things, they’re suffering.

"Now, there are some people, of course, whose behavior is such that you may not want to be connected with them. But at least have sympathy: To whatever extent they’re doing unskillful things, they’re suffering. In some cases, the best course of action is to wish them well but to realize that you’re going to have to go separate ways." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Faith in Goodness"

We're interconnected through our actions, we're not connected through anything else

"Everything talked about in the Dhamma relates to actions. When people talk about interconnectedness: We’re connected through our actions. We’re not connected through anything else. What kind of connections do we have? It’s not something we are born with, aside from the results of past actions. These connections are created right now as we’re acting. Then act well so that the connections are good, as long as you need connections. But ultimately you find the mind is a lot better off without connections to anything at all." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "It's All about Action"

You never asked other people's permission to take their bad qualities and to brood over them. If you’re going to steal their qualities, take their good ones and think about those instead.

"Don’t steal other people’s bad qualities to think about. You never asked their permission to take their bad qualities and to brood over them. If you’re going to steal their qualities, take their good ones and think about those instead. Ajaan Lee also says that if you take the bad words of other people and brood over them, it’s like taking something they’ve spit out and then eating it yourself. And then when you get sick, who are you going to blame?" ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Karma of Mindfulness: The Buddha's Teachings on Sati and Kamma"

If other people do something outrageous, you realize that you probably were a real character sometime in the past. And let it go at that.

"Learn to look at what other people say as the result of your past actions; what other people do is the result of your past actions. In other words, the karma you’ve done in the past is coming back at you. It’s a sobering thought to think: Your past actions were done with the desire for happiness, and now you’re experiencing the skillfulness or lack of skillfulness in your past actions, in your past desires for happiness, your past efforts to bring about happiness. When you have that attitude, it’s a lot easier to live with other people. If they do something outrageous, you realize that you probably were a real character sometime in the past. And let it go at that. Your focus right now should be on what you’re doing and saying and thinking in the present moment." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Your Own Karma"

Learning how to get along with one another also requires skill. You don’t just do what you feel like doing. You have to think about, “When I act, what are the results going to be? How is this going to impact the people around me?”

"Learning how to get along with one another also requires skill. You don’t just do what you feel like doing. You have to think about, “When I act, what are the results going to be? How is this going to impact the people around me?” And then try to have the best kind of impact you can think of." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Happiness as a Skill"

As long as you’re in samsara, you’re going to meet the people you love again. Wealth, health that’s gone comes back again. But you've got to protect your virtue and right views.

"In the large scheme of things, as long as you’re in samsara, you’re going to meet the people you love again. Wealth that’s gone comes back again. Your health’s that’s gone can come back again. But when you lose your virtue and you lose your right views, it can sometimes be a very long and miserable time before you get them back. You’ve got them now. Protect them." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Mending the Social Fabric"

Goodwill for Safety (extract)

"Wise goodwill [mettā] is based on the realization that we have to live in this world together with all kinds of people, all kinds of beings. There are some that are threatening, there are some that are hard to like, but you can’t let yourself have ill will for them. So you have to talk to yourself, because if anything is natural, fear is. Fear can cause you to want somebody to go away, want them to disappear, want them to just not be in this world. That state of mind that wants total security by wiping out threatening things actually ends up causing a lot more trouble than it resolves. We have to realize: We have to live in the world with all kinds of people, all kinds of beings, and we have to protect ourselves first — with our goodwill. So, think your way to goodwill. If you find yourself reacting to somebody in a negative way, just stop and remind yourself: You don’t have to like the person or like  the being, but you have to think about that person or that being’s well-bein...

Other people can hurt you, they can even kill you, but the results go only as far as this lifetime. But through your actions you can do yourself a lot of damage that goes beyond just this lifetime.

"Dangers in your own mind: Ultimately, those are the ones that are really dangerous. Other people can hurt you, they can even kill you, but the results go only as far as this lifetime. But through your actions — your thoughts, your words, and your deeds — you can do yourself a lot of damage that goes beyond just this lifetime, so you need a source of safety that’s nearby." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Near to the Buddha"

Sartre said hell is other people. No, hell is your own mind! Other people are hard to control, but you can control your thoughts, your words, your deeds, and these are the true measure of where you’re going to go, how well you’re going to fare.

"Was it Sartre that said hell is other people? No, hell is your own mind! The dangers that other people can pose to you are nothing compared to the dangers you pose to yourself. But the dangers you pose to yourself are things you can learn how to control. Other people are hard to control, but you can control your thoughts, your words, your deeds, and these are the true measure of where you’re going to go, how well you’re going to fare." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Calm & at Ease"

Everybody deserves compassion. Everybody deserves goodwill [mettā], empathetic joy. But again, it’s not so much what they deserve, it’s: What do you want to do with your life? How are you going to shape your experience?

"Everybody deserves compassion. Everybody deserves goodwill [mettā], empathetic joy. But again, it’s not so much what they deserve, it’s: What do you want to do with your life? How are you going to shape your experience? How do you want to shape the world around you? Give your goodwill as a gift, your compassion as a gift to others and to yourself. That’s a good way of shaping things." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Goodwill & Karma"

Don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t have illicit sex, don’t lie, don’t take intoxicants, period. The times when you need clear-cut rules the most are when you’re most tempted to break them.

"There are some people who complain that the precepts are absolute, hard-and-fast rules. People don’t like hard-and-fast rules, but actually the precepts clear-cut, and for a good reason. Clear-cut rules are easier to remember: Don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t have illicit sex, don’t lie, don’t take intoxicants, period. Although some people would prefer a little wriggle room in the rules, they’re being shortsighted and heedless. The times when you need clear-cut rules the most are when you’re most tempted to break them. It’s a lot easier to remember clear-cut promises that you make to yourself. Remember, right after 9-11? So many Buddhist teachers were saying, “Well, this business about not killing, we can throw that away for the time being. And this business about hostility not being cured by hostility, forget about that.” People were throwing away the basic principles that they actually needed most at that point. The Buddha’s not teaching us these principles just for times when t...

The principle of kamma was designed for times when people really are seething with hatred, when they have to be reminded that you can’t put aside your principles when life is in danger.

"We saw all that insanity after 9/11, where people were willing to throw morality out the window because they were so scared. There was even that Buddhist teacher who said, “This principle that hatred is never appeased by hatred, that it’s only appeased by non-hatred [i.e. goodwill,]” was totally useless. Didn’t have any practical application when things were so uncertain. Actually, though, that principle was designed for times when people really are seething with hatred, when they have to be reminded that you can’t put aside your principles in a situation like that. When life is in danger, your first impulse may be not your best impulse at all. You need clear-cut precepts to keep reminding you that under no circumstances would you kill, steal, have illicit sex, lie, or take intoxicants. That’s why the precepts are so simple, to be easy to remember in difficult situations." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Ennobling Path"

You’re not expecting that all beings will be happy, but you're setting your intentions straight, that at least from your quarter there’s no danger for any beings at all.

"Start with this simple intention, “May all beings be happy.” Now, you’re not expecting that all beings will be happy, but you want to make sure that at least from your quarter there’s no danger for any beings at all. You’re setting your intentions straight. And that’s really all you can be responsible for." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Right Attitudes"

The real basis for a sense of connectedness comes through kamma. When you interact with another person, a connection is made. A connection of skillful behavior starts with generosity, and grows with the gift of virtue.

"The real basis for a sense of connectedness comes through kamma. When you interact with another person, a connection is made. Now, it can be a positive or a negative connection, depending on the intention. With generosity you create a positive connection, a helpful connection, a connection where you’re glad that the boundary is down, a connection where good things can flow back and forth. If it’s unskillful kamma, you’re creating a connection, you’re creating an opening that sooner or later you’re going to regret. There’s a saying in the Dhammapada that a hand without a wound can hold poison and not be harmed. In other words, if you don’t have any bad kamma, the results of bad kamma won’t come to you. But if you have a wound on your hand, then if you hold poison it will seep through the wound and kill you. Unskillful kamma is just that, a wound. It’s an opening for poisonous things to come in. The opposite principle also works. If there’s a connection of skillful beh...

People engaging in wrong actions and wrong speech gain only a temporary disadvantage. The fact that you’re holding to the precepts means you have something of solid worth that gives you a good future over the long term.

"So in a world where people are engaging in wrong actions and wrong speech, there are times when you’re put at a disadvantage. But those disadvantages are only temporary. The fact that you’re holding to the precepts means you have something of solid worth that gives you a good future over the long term." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Values of the Noble Ones"