Goodwill for Safety (extract)

"Wise goodwill [mettā] is based on the realization that we have to live in this world together with all kinds of people, all kinds of beings. There are some that are threatening, there are some that are hard to like, but you can’t let yourself have ill will for them. So you have to talk to yourself, because if anything is natural, fear is. Fear can cause you to want somebody to go away, want them to disappear, want them to just not be in this world.

That state of mind that wants total security by wiping out threatening things actually ends up causing a lot more trouble than it resolves. We have to realize: We have to live in the world with all kinds of people, all kinds of beings, and we have to protect ourselves first — with our goodwill. So, think your way to goodwill. If you find yourself reacting to somebody in a negative way, just stop and remind yourself: You don’t have to like the person or like the being, but you have to think about that person or that being’s well-being — so that your actions are skillful.

If you repeat this theme to yourself often enough, and dig up all the resistance, you find that it does come more and more easily. It becomes more and more of a habit. That way, you can live with people who are threatening and not end up doing something unskillful to protect yourself. You can provide yourself with skillful protection."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Goodwill for Safety"

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