Just One Person (extract)

"Ajaan Suwat used to like to say that with all the people in the world, you have only one person — yourself — for which you’re responsible. You may have members of the family, other people you have connections with, but you can’t really be responsible for their actions.

Our problem is that many of us are not even responsible for our own actions. We let our behavior depend on other people. If they treat us nicely, we treat them nicely. If they don’t treat us nicely, we’re going to get back at them. That’s placing all the blame on them and denying our agency. But we’re not here for a blame game. We’re here to figure out why we’re suffering — and it comes from our actions.

Other people can do really bad things, but the fact that we’re suffering from their bad things comes from our own lack of skill. This is why, when we meditate, we close our eyes. We’re not out there looking at the world. We’re looking into the mind."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Just One Person"

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