Is there anything you can do to help a person want to become more skillful? Rather than tallying up all the bad things that person did in the past, you’re looking at him or her as someone with potential, the potential to change for the better.

"After all, what does goodwill [mettā] mean? It means, “May that person be happy.” How is the person going to be happy? Through his or her actions. So basically you’re wishing, “If this person is behaving in an unskillful way, may he or she see the error of his or her ways and be willing to change, willing to become more skillful.” That’s an attitude you can have for everybody. Then you can ask yourself: “Is there anything I can do to help that person be more skillful?” Rather than tallying up all the bad things that person did in the past, you’re looking at him or her as someone with potential, the potential to change for the better. So, make it your challenge: Is there anything you can do to help that person become more skillful — to want to become more skillful?"

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Metta Math" (Meditations12)

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