The best way to resolve issues where someone has behaved in a bad way is not to have ill will for them and not to want to see them suffer. It’s to want to see them recognize that they’ve been doing wrong, and voluntarily change their ways.

"As for ill will, sometimes you can justify that by saying that someone really did something wrong, and justice has to be done. They have to be punished. But how many people respond well to punishment? There are some. But a lot of people just get more entrenched in their sense of rightness, that they’ve been treated unfairly.

So the best way to resolve issues where someone has behaved in a bad way is not to have ill will for them and not to want to see them suffer. It’s to want to see them recognize that they’ve been doing wrong, and voluntarily change their ways. That way, you can spread goodwill [mettā] to them, because that’s what goodwill means in that situation, without any sense of hypocrisy or pretending or make-believe. It’s something you can genuinely feel. But you have to ask yourself about your ideas about justice, whether they really are just or no more than make-up on top of the plain old desire to see somebody you don’t like suffer."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Hindrances"

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