Look at what you’ve been doing to and see where it’s been unskillful. When you do this, you’re passing judgment on your actions, not on yourself. You’re not stuck there, you can change your mind, you can change your habits.
"Look at what you’ve been doing to and see where it’s been unskillful. When you do this, you are passing judgment. But you’re passing judgment on your actions, not on yourself. Your intentions in the past may have been unskillful, or the actions may have been unskillful, but you’re not stuck there. Just because you’ve had unskillful intentions doesn’t mean that you’re always going to have unskillful intentions. You can change your mind. You can change your habits.
The skillful or healthy sense of shame comes in here and says, “What I did in the past is nothing to be proud of, but I don’t have to repeat that mistake.” This is what your powers of judgment are good for."
~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Shame & Acceptance" (Meditations5)
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