Instead of focusing on getting revenge or retribution, you open your mind to the question of what you might do or say that would actually get them to change their ways.

"Even when people behave unjustly, you have to learn how to set aside thoughts of revenge, because they accomplish nothing good. Remind yourself that what other people do is their kamma; what you do is your kamma. You can’t ultimately be responsible for their kamma; however, you can be responsible for your own actions. So, you spread thoughts of goodwill [mettā]: thoughts that they may be happy, and especially that they may understand the causes for true happiness and then really act on them. That’s a thought you can extend even to people who are really cruel. In fact, you especially want to extend that to cruel people so that instead of focusing on getting revenge or retribution, you open your mind to the question of what you might do or say that would actually get them to change their ways. That way your intentions become more skillful."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Wisdom of Wising Up" (Meditations6)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

You Don't Have to Be Afraid of Missing Out on Your Karmic Legacy

We all have our past kamma, the things that come at us in life from our past actions. But again, it’s what you’re doing right now that’s going to make all the difference.

We keep coming back for more. The mind is looking for happiness, but it’s looking in the wrong place. It’s doing precisely the things that are going to cause more suffering.