As you find it in yourself to forgive, that should give you energy. It places you a little bit above your old situation, your old position of feeling victimized or under the pressure of that person. You can rise up above.

"Think of people you haven’t forgiven yet, and you can sit right here and forgive them. What does forgiveness mean in the Buddhist context? It means that you pose no danger to them, you’re not going to try to get back at them, you’re not going to carry around a grudge. It doesn’t mean that you necessarily forget that they did something unskillful. Because there are people you’ve got to watch out for — in other words, the people you can forgive but you don’t want to have much more to do with them anymore. But you can remind yourself, okay, even though they’ve done unskillful things to you and they’ve harmed you or harmed people you love, you’re not going to pose any danger to them. You’re going to leave it at that.

Now, the prospect of getting reconciled with that person may be impossible, but at the very least you can sit here and unilaterally forgive that person. There are times when you have to forgive yourself for certain things you did in the past. Be generous with that, too.

Of all the various kinds of generosity, forgiveness is the one that requires the least energy, the least material wealth, and should be the least difficult, but often it’s the hardest. But as you find it in yourself to forgive, that should give you energy. It places you a little bit above your old situation, your old position of feeling victimized or under the pressure of that person. You can rise up above."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "In the Mood to Meditate"

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