Instead of focusing on getting revenge or retribution, you open your mind to the question of what you might do or say that would actually get them to change their ways.
"Even when people behave unjustly, you have to learn how to set aside
thoughts of revenge, because they accomplish nothing good. Remind
yourself that what other people do is their kamma; what you do is your
kamma. You can’t ultimately be responsible for their kamma; however, you
can be responsible for your own actions. So, you spread thoughts of
goodwill [mettā]: thoughts that they may be happy, and especially
that they may understand the causes for true happiness and then really
act on them. That’s a thought you can extend even to people who are
really cruel. In fact, you especially want to extend that to cruel
people so that instead of focusing on getting revenge or retribution,
you open your mind to the question of what you might do or say that
would actually get them to change their ways. That way your intentions become more skillful."
~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Wisdom of Wising Up" (Meditations6)
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